Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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