love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
please come you make the beer taste better
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize