you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize