No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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