And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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