nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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