I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You were trust falling into bushes
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
