hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
