Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
