i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
