laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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