my mouth tastes like poor choices
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize