i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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