mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
