I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
