hotel room ftw
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
