A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize