before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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