I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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