In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
