He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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