I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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