It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
