we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize