That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize