Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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