I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize