with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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