Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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