I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
