We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
