my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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