what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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