isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We need a shit load of segways right now
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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