i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
