Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
