Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
