eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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