No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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