She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
