At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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