We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
