if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize