I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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