Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
