i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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