i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
