I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
