So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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