I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
