You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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