So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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