I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
