Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
