in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
