So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize