it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
