my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
