I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
