How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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