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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
