yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
