Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
