I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
