oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
