It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
