I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
